Hagendewe ku byavuye mu bushakashatsi bugaragaza ko ijanisha rya gatanya mu byamamare byashakanye riri hejuru.

Raporo yakozwe na USA Today Report (2017) yagaragaje ko ijanisha rya gatanya mu byamamare riri hagati ya 50–60%, hejuru ya divorce rate rusange iri kuri 40–45% muri Amerika.

Study ya Journal of Police and Criminal Psychology (2017) yerekanye ko ’celebrity marriages’ urushako rwa couples z’abantu bazwi cyane rukunze kumara igihe gito kubera igitutu cy’itangazamakuru, ubuzima bw’ingendo nyinshi, n’uko spotlight ituma habaho igitutu cyinshi.

Research yakozwe na UK Office for National Statistics (ONS) nayo yerekanye ko abakinnyi n’abahanzi b’ibyamamare bafite ’divorce rate’ iri hejuru cyane ugereranyije n’abandi bakora indi mirimo.

Impamvu ingana ururo: Impamvu 5 zishobora kuba imbarutso ya gatanya hagati ya couples z’abahanzi:

Guhatana mu kazi (Competition): Buri wese aba afite inyota yo kwamamara no kuririmbwa cyane, bigatuma batangira gufatana nk’abahanganye aho gufatana nk’abafatanyabikorwa.

Ibi akenshi bituruka ku bafana batangira kubagereranya ku mbuga nkoranyambaga, bagaragaza ko runaka ari we ushoboye kurusha undi. Iyo baba baririmba nk’itsinda, bamwe mu bafana bagaragaza ko umwe ari “ishyiga ry’inyuma” mu gihe undi batamubona nk’ubabaha ibyishimo.

Ibi bishobora kugaragarira no ku mubare w’ababakurikira ku mbuga nkoranyambaga, bigatera umwuka w’ishyari hagati y’inshuti magara. Iyo hatabayeho kwirinda, iki gitutu gishobora gukurura gatanya.

Kutabona umwanya uhagije wo kuba hamwe (Busy Schedules): Couples z’abahanzi usanga kubona umwanya wo kuba hamwe ngo baganire ku iterambere ry’urugo n’indi mishinga bitari ubuhanzi bigorana, bitewe n’ibikorwa byinshi by’umuziki.

Gutegura indirimbo, ibitaramo, ingendo, n’ibikorwa byo kwamamaza bituma buri wese agira gahunda zitandukanye, bikagabanya umwanya wo kwita ku rugo. Kutita ku rugo no kutahana umwanya wo kuganira bishobora gukurura amakimbirane aganisha kuri gatanya.

Igitutu cy’itangazamakuru (Media & Public Pressure): Kuba bombi ari ibyamamare bituma buri kantu kose k’amakimbirane kaba hagati yabo kamenyekana, kakaba inkuru mu itangazamakuru.

Ibi bituma amakimbirane yafatwaga nk’ayo hasi akura, akongerwamo ibirungo akenshi atari ukuri. Ibi bishobora gutuma umwe muri bo cyangwa bombi batakaza imbaraga zo kwihangana, bagahitamo gutandukana.

Kunanirwa kugabanya Ego n’icyubahiro (Ego Clash): Ijambo Ego rikomoka mu gifaransa “Le moi”, risobanura umuntu wikunda cyangwa wirebaho cyane.

Buri umwe muri aba ashaka kubahwa nk’ikirangirire, hakaba ubwo buri wese yumva icyubahiro ahawe n’abafana no kuri stage yagikwiye no mu rugo. Iyo habuze kwicisha bugufi, bigira ingaruka zikomeye ku mibanire.

Ibyago byo gutandukana mu cyerekezo cy’umuziki (Artistic Differences): Umwe ashobora kwifuza gukora injyana runaka, undi akagira irindi yerekwa (Vision). Ibi bishobora guteza amakimbirane, rimwe na rimwe bigashyira iherezo ku mubano wabo bwite ndetse no ku mishinga bakoraga hamwe.

No muri Gospel hari couple z’abaramyi zananiwe birangira zikoze divorce

Kuri ubu mu Rwanda couples z’abaramyi zikomeje kwiyongera. Mu gihe mu bindi bihugu nka USA usanga hari couples z’abaramyi aho usanga buri wese akora umuziki ku giti cye, si ko bimeze mu Rwanda kuko abaririmbyi babana nk’umugore n’umugabo usanga baririmbana nk’itsinda.

Amwe nu ma couples y’abaramyi azwi cyane mu Rwanda twavugamo nk’Itsinda rya James&Daniella, Ben&Chance, Fabrice&Mara, Rene Patrick&Tracy, Jado Sinza&Esther, Chryso Ndasingwa & Sharon Gatete (aba baritegura kubana mu minsi ya vuba), Papi Clever & Dorcas, n’abandi benshi.

Kuri ubu inkuru yo kwishimirwa mu gihugu cy’u Rwanda ni uko kugeza ubu nta nkuru izwi ya Divorce hagati ya couple y’abaramyi bombi. Gusa si ko bimeze mu bindi bihugu by’umwihariko Leta Zunze Ubumwe za Amerika na Ghana.

Amwe mu ma couples azwi y’abaririmbyi yananiwe kwihanganira bimwe mu bibazo byavuzwe haruguru bagahitamo inzira ya Gatanya.

1.Israel Houghton & Meleasa Houghton – (USA: Israel Houngton ni umwe mu baramyi bafite amateka aremereye muri USA. Uyu muramyi azwi cyane mu ndirimbo "Compfire coritos" imaze kurebwa n’abantu barenga miliyoni 16 mu myaka ibiri. Azwi kandi mu ndirimbo nka Friend of God, In Jesus name, Jesus at the center n’izindi.

Uyu muramyi, umwanditsi w’indirimbo akaba n’umuhanga mu gutunganya indirimbo yinjiye mu muziki mu mwaka wa 1997 kuri ubu ufite imyaka 54 - yavukiye muri California.

Mu mwaka wa 1994 yaje gushakana na Meleasa Houngton undi muramyi w’umuhanga aho yanagize uruhare mu ndirimbo zirimo "Friend of God" n’izindi.

Gusa urukundo rw’aba bombi rwaje gushyirwaho akadomo nyuma y’uko Israel Houngton atangarije mu ruhame ko yaba yaraciye inyuma umugore we. Ibi byatumye mu mwaka wa 2016 nyuma y’imyaka 22 aba bombi bakora divorce.

Amy Grant na Gary Charpman: Army Grant ni umuramyi ukomeye cyane by’umwihariko muri USA aho yatwaye ibihembo 6 bikomeye bya Grammy Awards. Mu mwaka wa 1982 yaje gusezerana kubana akaramata n’umwongerezakazi Gary Chapman.

Gusa ibyo kubana akaramata byarangiranye n’indahiro baza gutandukana mu mwaka wa 1999 nyuma y’imyaka 17.

Bivugwa ko Arm Grant yari umutinganyi ntagirire amarangamutima umugore we bigatuma atamwitaho. Charpman nawe yavugwagaho kunywa ibiyobyabwenge ku rwego rukabije.
Gary Chapman yaje gushaka undi mugabo, Vince Gill.

Amy Grant ni umwe mu bahanzi bakomeye mu muziki wa Christian Pop, akaba yaramenyekanye cyane mu myaka ya 1990.

3.Eunice Njeri na Isaac Bukasa (Izzo): Eunice Njeri ni umuhanzi w’icyamamare muri Gospel akaba akomoka mu gihugu cya Kenya. Yaje gushakana na Isaac Bukasa umuramyi ukomoka muri Congo. Gusa nyuma y’amasaha 24 aba bombi baje gutandukana.

Njeri yavuze ko nyuma y’umunsi umwe aba bombi bakoze ubukwe bwabereye muri USA, yasanze umutima we utari aho (yakoze ibitamurimo), dore ko yavuze ko gukora ubukwe bihabanye n’intego yihaye yo gukomeza umurimo w’Imana muri Afurika.

Yagize ati: “Ku ya 27 Ugushyingo 2016, Isaac na njye twagiye ku rusengero dukora ubukwe, ariko nyuma y’umunsi umwe nasanze umutima wanjye utari aho. Nsubiye muri Afurika gukomeza umurimo wanjye w’Imana.”

Eunice Njeri ni umwe mu bahanzi bakomeye mu muziki wa Gospel muri Kenya. Yamamaye cyane mu ndirimbo nka Nani Kama Wewe, Ameni, Babette n’izindi. Isaac Bukasa yamamaye mu ndirimbo zirimo Les bontés de l’eternel, Actions de grâces n’izindi ..

Inama zafasha abahanzi b’ibyamamare kubaka ingo zabo bikabarinda gatanya:

Kuba ibyamamare byashakana si ikibazo, ikibazo cyaba kudatekereza ku buryo bazitwara kugira ngo babashe kurambana.

Dore zimwe mu nama zafasha ibyamamare mu muziki wo kuramya no guhimbaza Imana gukomeza gusigasira Isezerano bagiranye

1.Gushyira Imana imbere mu rugo

Dr. Tony Evans, umushakashatsi ku mibanire n’amasengesho y’abashakanye yavuze ko kubaka urugo hashingiwe ku Mana bituma abantu bibuka kuganira, kwihangana no gukemura amakimbirane mu nzira y’ubwumvikane.

2.Kuganira ku bibazo hakiri kare

Gary Chapman wanditse igitaboThe Five Love Languages, yasobanuye uburyo urukundo rugaragazwa mu buryo butandukanye kandi bufasha mu gukemura amakimbirane.

Yagize ati: "Abashakanye bagomba kumenya kuganira ku bibazo byabo hakiri kare, bakirinda gukomeza kubika umujinya cyangwa amakosa. Kugirana ibiganiro byubaka birinda ko ikibazo cyaba ingorabahizi."

3. Kwiyumvanamo no gushyigikirana mu ntego

Umuhanga Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, mu gitabo cye Love & Respect, asobanura ko kubaha no gushyigikirana bituma umubano uhama.

4.Kwita ku buzima bwo mu rugo burimo urukundo n’amarangamutima.

Dr. Henry Cloud na Dr. John Townsend, mu bitabo byabo by’imibanire, bavuga ko kumenya guha umwanya wihariye urukundo n’amarangamutima bifasha kwirinda amakimbirane akomeye.