Nk’uko Paradise ibagezaho buri gihe impamba y’ubuzima mu mibanire ya buri munsi mu buzima bw’abakristo, uyu munsi tugiye kureba impamvu ifatika iteganywa na Bibiliya Yera, yatuma habaho gusenya ishyingirwa.
Iyo umugabo cyangwa umugore washatse asambanye maze uwo babana utariho icyaha, amaze kumenya icyaha uwo yakoze, yemeye kwongera kugirana nawe imishyikirano y’imyanya y’ibitsina, icyo cyaba ari igihamya cy’uko mugenzi we yamubabariye?
Imishyikirano y’imyanya y’ibitsina hanze y’umubano w’ishyingirwa (ubusambanyi) iha umuntu utakoze icyaha impanvu ya gatanya (divorce) iyo abyifuza; mu ruhande rundi ariko, kwongera kugirana imishyikirano y’imyanya y’ibitsina bigaragaza y’uko bababariranye bakiyunga. Bitabaye ibyo, imigirire y’uwo mugabo cyangwa umugore ntiyaba ihuje n’icyemezo cye cyo kubabarira.—Mat 19:9; 5:37.
Iyo uwakoze ubusambanyi yihannye n’umutima utaryarya kandi ababana bombi bakaba bifuza cyane gukemurira hamwe ingorane zavutse, biba bikwiye rwose kubabarirana no kugirira impuhwe uwakosheje.
Ni ngombwa rero icyo gihe gukora ibishoboka byose mu kurinda injishi z’umubano w’ishyingirwa, bakemera ariko ko mu gihe gitoya, imishyikirano yabo itazaba yoroshye kandi ko hazavuka ingorane. Ibyo ntibizagira ingaruka nziza ku mugabo n’umugore we gusa hamwe n’abana bakiri mu rugo, ahubwo kandi bazaba banatsinze umwanzi mukuru usenya ingo, Satani Umwanzi.
Mu bihe bimwe na bimwe, utarakoze icyaha bizamugora cyane kubona impamvu yatuma akomeza imimerere y’umuntu washatse. Birashoboka ko, na mbere y’icyo cyaha cy’ubusambanyi, uwo mugabo n’umugore we baba baragize ingorane zikomeye mu gukurikiza amahame ya Bibiliya areba iby’ubutware mu rugo no kwumvira.
Yenda abashakanye bibayeho baba batari bakiganira cyane cyangwa hagati yabo hakaba hari hatakiri urukundo n’ubwubahane. Gusharira, inzika cyangwa ibindi bintu bishobora kuba byarababuzaga guhana ibibakwiriye mu mishyikirano y’imyanya y’ibitsina.
Uwakorewe icyaha ashobora kwiringira yuko, nababarira mugenzi we, imihati yabo yo gukemura izo ngorane zikomeye kandi zishinze imizi cyane bizagira icyo byungura kuri izo ngorane? Ashobora kwibwira se ko icyizere cyo gutunganya ibintu ari gitoya cyane maze agahitamo gutana na mugenzi we, n’ubwo ibyo byamusaba gutangira imibereho bundi bushya kubera gatanya, kuko bizaba ngombwa gushaka icumbi no kwita ku bana, n’ibindi. Ntiwibagirwe kandi ko Imana yanga gutana kw’abashakanye.—Mal 2:16.
Ibyo byose ni ibintu uwakorewe icyaha akwiriye kwitaho kugira ngo yemeze niba akwiye kubabarira mugenzi we. Ariko agomba kubikora mbere yo kwongera kugirana imishyikirano y’imyanya y’ibitsina’ no gusubira m gikundiro cyihariwe n’abashyingiranywe bonyine.
Kujya impaka ku mimerere y’ibintu n’ingorane, kugerageza kwumvikana, kwemeza niba buri muntu ashaka kwongera kwihata kugira ngo urukundo n’ubwubahane bigaruke mu rugo, ibyo byose bishobora gukorwa hatabanje kubaho mbere kubabarira.
Ariko igihe uwakorewe icyaha ageze mu rwego rw’ibyiyumvo by’umubiri bimutera kugirana imishyikirano na mugenzi we wakosheje, aho buri wese yakwiringira yuko azamubabarira nta ngingiri kandi ko atazongera kwitwaza ubuhemu bwa mugenzi we yamenye nk’impamvu yemewe na Bibiliya yo gutana nawe n’iyo kugira uburenganzira bwo kwongera gushyingirwa.
Mu gukora ibihuje n’impuhwe aba yagize, uwakorewe icyaha aba yigana Imana kuko ababarira ubutazongera kwibutsa uwakosheje ibyaha bye byo mu gihe cyashize (Zab 103:3, 8-14 Yes 55:7; Ef 4:32; 1 Pet 4:8; 1 Yoh 1:9). Birumvikana yuko ugiriwe imbabazi muri ubwo buryo aba afite inshingano nyuma y’aho yo kwerekana ko ashima kandi ntazongere guhemukira mugenzi we ubwa kabiri.
Birashoboka ko ingorane z’ibizazane cyane kandi zikomeye zabaho nyuma yo kumubabarira, ku buryo iyo mugenzi we yahemukiye azimenya mbere atari kuzamubabarira habe no kwemera kugirana nawe imishyikirano y’imyanya y’ibitsina.
Ariko, ibyo si impamvu yo gusenya umubano w’ishyingirwa, ahubwo kuba izo ngorane zishobora kubaho bigaragaza ko uwahemukiwe agomba kugira ubwitonzi mu gihe asuzuma ibintu byose bikubiye muri icyo kibazo no kutihutira kugira icyo avuga niba agomba kwemeza niba yamubabarira cyangwa atamubabarira.
Ibyo tumaze kuvuga ni kimwe no mu gihe umugore yaba yarasambanye agatwara inda, maze umugabo we akemera kwongera kugirana nawe imishyikirano y’inyanya y’ibitsina mbere y’uko abanza kumenya neza iby’umugore we.
Kuba ashobora gutwita ni ingingo umugabo azashaka kwitaho mbere yo kwemeza niba azababarira umugore we kandi akazasubirana nawe. Ubwenge bwiza buzamubwiriza gutegereza kugeza ubwo azashobora kuvuga adashidikanya niba umugore we afite inda itari iye.
Naho se amubabariye akagirana nawe imishyikirano y’imyanya y’ibitsina mbere y’uko amenya neza icyo kibazo? Ubwo aba yemeye iby’uko umugore we ashobora kuba afite inda, n’uko niba ari ngombwa, azakira iwe uwo mwana akazamurera kimwe n’uwo yibyariye.
Birumvikana ko, niba bigaragaye ko umukristo ‘yasambanye’, icyo kibazo gikwiye gushyikirizwa inama y’abakuru bʼitorero (Mat 19:9). Iyo uwakoze icyaha atireze, uwahemukiwe afite inshingano yo kuvuga icyaha cyakozwe, kugirango arinde isuku yʼitorero ry’Imana.
Iyo uwakoze ikosa yihannye nta buryarya, itorero rifite ububasha bwo kumugumisha mu barigize nʼubwo uwo yahemukiye yakwanga kumubabarira. Mu ruhande rundi, niba atihannye, azacibwa mu itorero, n’ubwo uwo babana yahemukiye yiyemeje kumubabarira no kugumana nawe.
Ibi byose byerekana neza ko nta wafata uko abonye inshingano zʼabashyingiranywe. Icyaha cyʼ“ubusambanyi” cyonyine cyʼuwo babana ni cyo giha mugenzi we impamvu yemewe na Bibiliya yo gusenya umubano wabo no kwongera gushaka.
Ariko iyo bongeye kugirana imishyikirano yʼimyanya yʼibitsina, itorero rya gikristo, kimwe nʼabashakanye bombi, bakwiye gukurikiza ubwenge bwiza ntibarebe mu cyaha cy’“ubusambanyi” impamvu yo gusenya ishyingirwa.
Abashakanye baziragiza Imana kandi bazihatira nʼumwete mwinshi kwubaka hagati yabo urukundo nʼubwubahane, kugira go bahirwe mu mibereho y’abo yʼabashakanye kandi bayitere kubamo ibyishimo.
