Izo nama zahabwaga umukobwa witeguye kurushinga, ubushakashatsi bugaragaza ko koko zagiraga umumaro munini cyane, kuko zabaga ziganjemo umuco wo kwihangana no kubaha umugabo, bityo bigatuma amakosa yakorwa mu rugo yihanganirwa ku kigero kiri hejuru.

Iyo mico myiza ifitanye isano n’icyo Bibiliya ivuga ku kubaka utugo harimo ’Kuganduka ku mugore n’itegeko ry’urukundo ku mugabo’. Ijambo ry’Imana rikangurira umugore mu rugo kugandukira umugabo we ndetse no kugira ubwenge buganisha ku kwiyubakira urugo rwe (Imigani 31).

Abahanga mu by’Imibanire y’ingo bemeza ko urugo rwubakwa cyane cyane n’ukwihanganirana, Mugasabana imbabazi, Kwita ku kuvugana kenshi no guhana amakuru (Communication) ndetse no Kubwirana amagambo yubakana hagati y’abashakanye n’ibindi byiza.

Mu minsi ishize, hadutse umuhango witwa BRIDAL SHOWER, aho abakobwa n’ababyeyi bishyira hamwe mbere y’uko ubukwe buba, bakegeranya ubushobozi n’impano akenshi na nyir’ubwite atabizi, bakazapanga umunsi bakamutungura, bakamukorera ibirori.

Abenshi cyangwa bose bafata ijambo bakagenda bagira inama umukobwa yazifashisha mu kubaka urugo rwe, bakamuha impano, bakishimana, bagasangira, bakifotoza, bagasoza ibirori ahenshi banifashisha umutsima w’ibirori (cake), bikaba ibirori bitagira uko bisa bitegurirwa umukobwa ku ntego yo kubaka urugo rwiza. Mu by’ukuri byari bifite intego nziza kuko byari bifitanye isano na za mpanuro za ba nyirasenge b’umukobwa, zifite aho zihuriza n’ubuzima dusanga muri Bibiliya.

Gusa muri iyi minsi byahinduye isura, aho benshi mu babyitabira, bamwe ingo ziba zarabananiye, abandi zibabihiye, bidakuyeho ko hari n’abababa bafite ingo zimeze neza, ariko byagaragaye ko kuri ubu ibyo birori henshi usanga uwo muhango Bridal Shower uvugirwamo amwe mu magambo yagumura umukobwa, akanamuhahamura.

Ukurikije ibivugirwa kuri ubu muri uwo muhango, bisa nk’aho urugo atari ukubaka ahubwo ari aho kujya kuko nta yandi mahitamo ufite cyangwa aho ujya kuko ari nta kindi cyo gukora. Byumvikanisha ko kurushinga ari ahantu h’umuruho n’ibibazo bidashira, bamwe bakanungamo mu mvugo zitari nziza nka "umugabo ni umwana w’undi, Umugabo ni iteshamutwe n’ibindi byose byerekana ububi bw’Umugabo".

Byumvikana ko uwo muhango Bridal Shower wahindutse umuzi w’ibitekerezo bishobora kuba imbarutso yo kwigumura, kutihangana no kugira umutima utari hamwe ndetse wahahamutse bishobora kuba n’intandaro ry’isenya ry’uwagirwaga inama nk’uko Paradise.rw yabitangarijwe na Umuhoza Clemence utuye Kimisagara.

Avuga ko ibi bishobora gutuma uwakorerwaga ibyo birori arwinjira [ajya mu rugo] byo kubura andi mahitamo cyane ko ibibanziriza ubukwe byinshi biba byarakozwe, harimo gufata irembo, gutanga inkwano, gushyira hanze impapuro z’ubutumire n’ibindi. Ariko kandi ntitwakirengangiza ko hari n’abakora ibi birori bikagera ku ntego zabyo zo gutanga impanuro zubaka.

Ababyeyi, inzego za Leta n’abanyamadini bakurikiranira hafi ibyo birori mu by’ukuri bifite intego bikagororwa bityo hakahabo gusagamba kw’ingo zubakwa n’abana b’u Rwanda, Umuryango Nyarwanda ugasubirana indangagaciro bikaba n’umusanzu mu kugabanya gatanya zabaye nyinshi mu minsi ya none.

Bridal shower itangirwamo inama ku mukobwa ugiye kurushinga

Mu mwaka wa 2017, Minisiteri y’Umuco na Siporo [ni ko yitwaga], ifatanyije na Minisiteri y’Uburinganire n’iterambere ry’Umuryango ndetse na Minisiteri y’Ubutegetsi bw’Igihugu basabye abayobozi n’ababyeyi kwamagana ibirori bisigaye bikorerwa umukobwa witegura kurushinga bizwi ku izina rya ‘bridal shower’. Ibi birori bamwe bavuga ko bikorerwamo uburiganya.

Hari mu nama nyunguranabitekerezo ku ndangagaciro z’ubukwe bwa Kinyarwanda. Iyi nama yabaye tariki 16 Ugushyingo 2017 ihuza inzego zitandukanye zirimo abayobozi mu nzego za Leta, imiryango itari iya Leta ndetse n’abanyamadini.

Uwari Minisitiri w’Umuco na Siporo, Uwacu Julienne yavuze ko umuco ugenda uhindagurika yongeraho ko ibyiza bijemo bigomba gusigasirwa ibi bijemo bikamaganwa.

Kimwe mu bishya bavuga ko byaje mu bukwe bwa Kinyarwanda ni ugutamikana aho umukwe atamika umugeni we ibyo kurya, n’umugeni akabigenza uko, ikindi ngo umuntu asigaye yoherereza undi ubutumire atamuzi akamwishyuza nk’aho amubereyemo umwenda.

Si ibi gusa kuko ngo hari n’ikindi kintu gisigaye gikorwa n’abasirumu mbere yo gushyingira umukobwa ari byo birori bya ‘Bridal shower’. Abazi neza uko ubukwe bwa Kinyarwanda bwakorwaga ibi birori babigereranya n’umuhuro.

Nk’uk tubicyesha ikinyamakuru Umuryango, Umuyobozi w’Umuryango mpuzamahanga urwanya ruswa n’akarengane Madamu Ingabire Marie Immaculee yavuze ko ibi birori biba bigamije kwaka abantu amafaranga mu buryo butari bwo. Ati “Bridal shower ni uburiganya”

Uwari Minisitiri w’Uburinganire n’Iterambere ry’Umuryango, Esperance Nyirasafari, yavuze ko yagiye mu birori bya Bridal shower agasanga ibikorerwamo atari byiza.

Ati: “Njye nagiye muri Bridal shower nsanga abakobwa n’abagore baragira inama umukobwa bamubwira ngo abagabo bakunda kurya, ngo umugabo uge umumesera ibi n’ibi, ibyinshi wabireba ugasanga binyuranyije n’ihame ry’uburinganire”

Francis Kaboneka wari Minisitiri w’ubutegetsi bw’igihugu icyo gihe yavuze ko umuntu ukwiye kugira inama umukobwa amubwira uko azitwara ku musore bagiye gushakana ari umuntu uzi imico n’imyitwarire y’uwo musore.

Ati "Umuntu wazaga kukugira inama yabaga azi umusore mugiye kubana...ubu bazana umuntu batoraguye hariya akaza akakugira inama, ngo Kaboneka uge umutekera, nta nzi, ntazi niba nkunda kurya, ...

Uwacu Julienne yavuze ko ibirori byitwa Bridal shower bikorerwa umukobwa witegura ku rushinga bikwiye kwamaganwa. Ati “Hari inama yindi iherutse kuba naho iki kintu cya Bridal shower twakivuzeho. Nta hantu nigeze numva bashima bridal shower…nagira ngo abayobozi bari hano n’ ababyeyi mu dufashe bridal shower tuyamagane”.

Ku rundi ruhande ariko abagabo nabo barasabirwa kujya bakorerwa ibirori bya Groom shower nk’uko bigenda ku bagore mbere yo gushyingirwa.

Mu nkuru yo mu 2021 ducyesha urubuga rwa Tv10, Uwamariya Josephine uyobora Action Aid mu Rwanda yagize ati” Umukobwa akorerwa Bridal Shower, akigishwa kuzubaha umugabo n’ibindi, kandi ni byiza rwose, ariko n’umusore na we ajye akorerwa Groom shower kugira ngo amenye uko azafasha umugore we.”

Bamwe mu bagore n’abakobwa bavuga ko mu gihe izi Vridal shower zitakozwe nko kugwiza umurongo umukobwa akagirwa inama, biramufasha cyane ndetse nabo bagasanga n’umusore agiye azihabwa byaba byiza kurushaho. Umwe yagize ati “Mbona umukobwa wakorewe bridal shower bimufasha bityo n’abasore barazikeneye rwose, kugira ngo bitazamugora gufatanya n’umugore”.

Mukamazera Joyce we yagize ati “ Rwose iyo umukobwa bamwegereye bakamugira inama, biramufasha rwose, rero n’abasore barazikeneye kuko ntawe babona ubaganiriza, bigatuma bashinga urugo hari ibyo batazi.”

Ku ruhande rw’abasore bamwe na bo babyemeranyaho n’aba bagore bakavuga ko koko basanga bikenewe ko bagirwa inama z’uko bazitwara mu rugo ,icyakora hari n’abatabikozwa. Uwitwa Dusenge John yagize ati “Rwose byadufasha pe, kuko kuba umukobwa agirwa inama umuhungu ntagire icyo amenya ,urumva ni ikibazo.”

Mu gusoza iyi nkuru, twavuga ko Bridal shower atari ikibazo ahubwo uburyo ikorwamo ni bwo bukwiriye kunozwa. Iby’uko abasore nabo bakorerwa Groom Showe, byo simbitindaho, reka Bridl shower ibanze inozwe, hanyuma ibindi bizakurikireho. Kuko kuko twabibonye, hari aho Bridal shower ihuriye n’ibyo Bibiliya isaba.

Imigani 31: 10 - "Umugore w’imico myiza ni nde wamubona? Arusha cyane rwose marijani igiciro. Umutima w’umugabo we uhora umwiringira kandi ntazabura kunguka. Ahora amugirira nez ntabwo amugirira nabi, igihe cyose akiriho. ...

Abyuka kare butaracya akagaburira abo mu rugo, agategek abaja be imirimo ibakwiriye,..aramburira abakene ibiganza, kandi indushyi akazitiza amboko". Impanuro nk’izi nizo zikwiriye guhabwa umukobwa witegura kurushinga.

Bridal Shower ni nziza ariko uburyo ikorwamo muri iyi minsi ntibunoze!