Hari ibintu byinshi bibaho bikababaza abakundana, ariko mu gihe uzaba uri mu rukundo bikakubaho wenyine mugenzi wawe bitamuriho, urukundo rwanyu nirusenyuka kubera byo uzabishimire Imana.
Ni kenshi uzumva abantu bavuga ko abakundana baba bagomba kubaho nk’abari mu bizamini, kuko ngo urukundo rutarimo amarira ruba rutari nyakuri. Icyakora hari igihe biba bikabije, ku buryo ikintu cyiza wakorera umutima wawe ari ukuwukura muri urwo rukundo.
Iyi nkuru twakoze twifashishije ibinyamakuru bitandukanye birimo Words of Wisdom, (cyane cyane) AyS na Psychology Today, igaruka ku bintu birindwi bibabaje cyane buri wese byabayeho cyangwa bibayeho mu rukundo ari wenyine aba agomba gushimira Imana, akayiha icyubahiro ku bwo kwemera ko bimubaho.
1. Gutandukana n’umuntu agahita yerekana undi mukunzi
Mu gihe uzaba watandukanye n’umuntu, hatarashira amezi nibura atatu ukabona atangiye kwerekana undi mukunzi ku mbuga nkoranyambaga n’ahandi cyangwa basohokana, uzafate umwanya ushimire Imana ku bwo kugukiza umuntu utari uwawe, ikagaragaza uburyarya bwe.
Abahanga bavuga ko abantu batandukanye bakundanaga by’ukuri bamara nibura amezi atatu bakibabajwe n’urukundo rwabo. Mu gihe rero uwo mwakundanaga ahise yerekana undi mukunzi munsi y’icyo gihe, mu by’ukuri si uko aba amukunze by’ukuri, ahubwo aba ashaka ko ubimenya ukababara, iyo ikaba ari impamvu yo gutuma wishima, kuko aba akigufite mu bitekerezo.
Ikindi ugomba kwishimira ni uko uwo mukunzi aba yarahoze amugutendekaho. Nta muntu n’umwe wishimira gutendekwa, uzishimire rero ko ubimenye yagiye, kuko iyo mukomezanya ukabimenya mukiri kumwe wari kubabara birushijeho.
2. Umuntu mukundana nakubwira ko atagikunda uzishime
Birababaza kumva umuntu ukunda akubwiye ko atakigukunda. Ni byo ukwiriye kubabara, ariko nyuma ukabishimira Imana wivuye inyuma. Abanyarwanda bakunda kuvuga ko ndakwanze itavamo ndagukunze.
Nubwo umuntu ashobora kwisubiraho kandi ukaba wamubabarira, niyisubiraho ku bwo kumwinginga cyane kwawe no guhatiriza akakugarukira kubera imbaraga washyizemo nyuma yo gusohora iryo jambo, ntazaba aje kukubera umukunzi, ahubwo azaba yamaze kukwiga, bityo agukoreshe mu nyungu ze.
Uzishimire ko abikwibwiriye, aho kugira ngo ujye ubibwirwa n’abandi, nyuma na nyuma uzagwe ku bimenyetso by’uko atagukunda. Wazababara cyane kuruta uko yabikwibwirira.
Umuntu muri kumwe nakwanga akanabikubwira uzamureke agende, ubabare ariko nyuma wishimire ko yagiye, kuko umuntu utakigukunda ukomeje kumuhatira kubikora yanaguhemukira. Ni Imana iba imukoresheje ngo areke kukubeshya, akuvire mu buzima.
3. Kubwira umuntu uko wiyumva n’ibyo ubona yahindura ariko mukabipfa
Buri wese aba yifuza ko uwo bakundana amwitaho kandi akagira ibyo amukorera nk’uko na we aba abikora. Niba uwo mukundana umusaba kugira ibyo ahindura kugira ngo urukundo rwanyu rurusheho kuba rwiza ariko ntabyiteho, wamusaba kongera ibikorwa byo kukwitaho na byo ntabyumve, ahubwo akakuka inabi avuga ko umunaniza, uzamureke agende kuko uzabona undi muhuza. Umukunzi nyamukunzi yishimira kugira ibyo ahindura ku bwawe, ntibimubera umutwaro.
4. Wakoze buri kimwe ariko birangira byanze
Abantu benshi bababazwa n’uko bakoze ibyo bashoboraga gukora byose ariko umukunzi wabo akanga akagenda. Bishinja amakosa, bakababara, bakibaza ukuntu umuntu batakajeho amafaranga, imbaraga n’igihe abasiga mu gahinda.
Nubwo bibabaza, nibikubaho uzabyishimire cyane, kuko nyine uwo muntu nubwo mwari kubana utari kuba umuhagije. Uzashimire Imana ko agiye mutarabana, kuko wari kuzakomeza kuvunika uvunikira indashima.
5. Wisanga akenshi ubabaye kuruta uko wishima
Uhora ubabaye kubera urukundo urimo, ugashaka icyaguteye agahinda ukakibura, wasesengura neza ugasanga ari uko umukunzi wawe atagukorera ibi na biriya. Niba ari uko bimeze uzaruvemo, ushimishwe n’uko ubashije kubivumbura hakiri kare.
Urukundo rukwiriye gutuma wishima, rwakubabaza bikaba iby’ako kanya bigashira. Mu gihe ubuzima bwawe bwose burangwa n’agahinda, ishimire ko ubimenye hakiri kare.
6. Amakosa ye ntayemera
Iyo umukunzi wawe akoze ikosa ariguhirikiraho, akagerageza kukwereka uruhare wabigizemo, bikarangira ari wowe usabye imbabazi, kandi ari we wakoze amakosa akomeye. Niba ari uko bimeze, ishimire ko ubashije kubibona hakiri kare, nibiba ngombwa umureke agende ave mu buzima bwawe.
Nta muntu udakosa cyangwa ngo ababaze mugenzi we mu rukundo, ariko mu gihe wowe ukora amakosa ukayasabira imbabazi, mugenzi wawe yakora amakosa akakugarukaho kandi ukayasabira imbabazi, icyo gihe uzaba uri mu mazi abira. Icyiza ni uko wasaba Imana ukamwikuramo, hanyuma ukayishimira ko yaguhumuye amaso.
7. Umukunzi wawe arakara cyane (umuranduranzuzi)
Niba ukundana n’umuntu, yarakara akamena ibintu, agatongana cyane kugera ubwo ashobora no kugukubita, ntuzabifate nk’ibisanzwe. Ni Imana izaba iri kugusaba kumureka.
Ese niba akora ibyo mutarabana, nimubana bizagenda bite? Kurakara ni ngombwa mu rukundo, ariko umuntu ugira umujinya w’umuranduranzuzi ni uwo kwitonderwa. Nimutandukana uzabishimire Imana, kuko iba ikurinze byinshi.
Bibiliya ivuga kenshi ko ababiri babanye bahinduka umubiri umwe. Iyo umukunzi wawe mutandukanye mubana, mu buryo bumwe cyangwa ubundi aba agutwaye kamwe mu duce tw’umubiri wawe. Bisa no gusaturamo kabiri imineke yamatanye (ibimane). Ukwiriye gushimira Imana ko ibyabatanyije byagaragaye mbere y’uko muhinduka umubiri umwe.
