Their differing opinions highlight an age-old debate on balancing authority, respect, and love within marriage, all while anchoring their thoughts in biblical teachings.
Gerard Mbabazi: “A Husband Should Be a Friend, Not Just a Leader”

Mbabazi argues for a humble, approachable, and loving husband, challenging traditional norms that frame a man as an unapproachable figure in the household.

“A man who wants to build a strong family must not act like a king but rather like a friend,” Mbabazi explained. “Some husbands think they should always have the last word, sit in a special chair, and command everyone around. That is not the right approach. A husband must humble himself and become a friend to his wife. Without that friendship, he cannot be a good father to his children.”

Mbabazi’s view reflects the biblical principle of love in Ephesians 5:25, which states, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” He emphasizes that love, humility, and friendship are essential for a strong marital bond and a happy home.

Muchoma: “A Husband Must Be Respected and Feared”
Contrasting Mbabazi’s view, Muchoma insists on the importance of respect, authority, and discipline in the household.

“Why are husbands no longer respected? A man should not sit where everyone else sits or eat on a plate others have used. When a husband enters the home, his presence should command attention and respect,” Muchoma stated. “The Bible clearly says a husband must be respected, and his wife should submit to him (Ephesians 5:33).”

Muchoma added that a husband must act as a leader, taking wise decisions for his family without abusing his authority. He also dismissed the idea that a wife should be a husband’s friend:
“A wife is not a friend; she is a wife. If a man wants friends, he should find them among other men. Respect in the home begins with recognizing these roles.”
What Does the Bible Say About a Good Husband?

While Mbabazi and Muchoma’s opinions may seem conflicting, both touch on biblical truths about a husband’s role. Ephesians 5 outlines two crucial responsibilities:

1. Loving Leadership: A husband is called to love his wife sacrificially, reflecting Christ’s love for the church (Ephesians 5:25). This love includes humility, kindness, and understanding, as suggested by Mbabazi.

2. Respect and Authority: The same chapter calls on wives to respect their husbands, emphasizing the husband’s role as the head of the family (Ephesians 5:23). Muchoma’s perspective aligns with this, stressing that leadership must be accompanied by wisdom and integrity.

Finding Balance in Biblical Marriage
A good husband, according to the Bible, embodies both humility and authority. He loves his wife selflessly, as Christ loves the church, but also leads with wisdom and courage. Respect is earned through actions, not demanded through fear.

By combining Mbabazi’s focus on friendship and love with Muchoma’s emphasis on respect and leadership, husbands can build families that reflect God’s design for marriage.

This balanced approach ensures that a husband remains approachable yet respected, strong yet humble—a true reflection of Christ-like leadership.

Gerard Mbabazi: “A Husband Should Be a Friend, Not Just a Leader"

Muchoma: “A Husband Must Be Respected and Feared"